Blog #7

BeforeĀ 

 

After

I worked on my thesis statement, and tried to reword my statement in order to set up the main points of my paper. Little Seagull talks about topic sentences, and although this is a little different, they said to use a topic sentence to help focus on the main point of the paragraph. I believe the same goes for the thesis, but the thesis discusses the main points in the paper and what is going to be discussed. This is what I tried to do when revising my thesis statement.

BeforeĀ 

 

After

I also worked on changing my conclusion, to help better wrap up my paper. Although I may need to come back, and add a little bit more information to strengthen it. Little Seagull talks about summarizing the main points in the conclusion paragraph. My peers also stated that I should try to restate my main points and bring the paper in a full circle. Before, my conclusions just solely talked about one point that I made in my paper, and did not leave the reader thinking. I tried to do that in my revised conclusion but I still may need to work on it.

One Comment

  1. elishaemerson

    Yes, another difference between a thesis and a topic sentence is that typically a thesis will go at the BOTTOM of your first paragraph, but a topic sentence (i.e. a claim sentence) will show up at the TOP of each body paragraph.

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